Dirty laundry

At the risk of  sounding ungrateful, I’m going to say it. My husband did a lot of laundry. I mean A LOT lot of laundry. Which is great. Wonderful. Excellent. Only not so much.

He’s been washing the clothes in fabric softener. I was wondering why the boy’s clothing didn’t quite smell clean. I’ll have to redo it all. All two weeks worth of laundry. That’s probably close to 15 loads in this house.

There’s nothing I hate more than laundry. Nothing. I would much rather clean the toilet then do a load laundry. I don’t like things that take a long time. Some people feel a sense of accomplishment after finishing a load. Me? No. After I finish a loud of laundry I feel as though a small piece of my soul has been ripped right out from under me.

I would’ve never made it in the 50s.

Double f-ing breech

You know how mother’s talk about their pregnancy and birth as though it was the most amazing experience of their life? Well, that was not exactly my experience. And truthfully I want to smack those mothers. In the face. With a stick.

During my pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and required insulin injections. I gained a TON of weight. Things hurt that I didn’t know could hurt. The entire pregnancy I had this sharp, shooting pain in my lower abdomen. Sleep was this foreign concept that I was positive would never return…interestingly it hasn’t. Don’t get me wrong there were positives. The babies! I really wanted babies and I was ecstatic that there were two. Girls think about what their husband and children will look like for all of their early life and I would soon find out.

Which brings me to the birth of my Lbabies. I went in for a weekly check up and they drew blood. The doctor came back and told me I needed to go to the hospital immediately because I had preeclampsia. Prior to this I was so ready for the babies to get out of my body! The problem was I hadn’t eaten anything since the night before and I also didn’t shower and I woke up late so I pretty much flew out of the front door. My appt was at 11am and I didn’t have the babies until 8pm ish. I was starving and felt extremely dehydrated!

I found it interesting that the doctors were having a full-blown conversation about their children attending summer camp during the c-section. I wanted to pull the cloth down and yell “I’m gonna need you guys to focus!” Every once in a while the anesthesiologist would say “you’re doing great.” I was absolutely convinced that any second the epidural was going to stop working. It’s a very strange feeling to have someone’s hands inside your stomach. And it’s an even stranger feeling to have somebody’s hands inside your stomach while discussing the cost of little Susie Joe’s horseback riding camp. I’m sure my c-section covered that cost as well as her first four years in college.

My husband was so sweet throughout it all. He kept saying “you’re doing great.” Truth be told, I wanted to kill him! All I could think was, “what the hell hospital room are you in because I’m about half a second away from having a panic attack followed by a nervous break down!” I’m not going to lie, I envisioned wrapping my hands around his neck and shaking. In retrospect he was incredible and I couldn’t of asked for a better husband.

I actually asked my husband to stop recording during the surgery and I’m so grateful that he didn’t. Watching the video made me realize that the birth of my children is thus far the most beautiful moments of my life. Notice I said moments.  I’m covering my face thoughout the video. Well my mouth, really, mostly because I was trying to keep myself from vomiting. I was so scared that I was physically shaking. Before I saw the video that petrified feeling is all I could remember. But it was so much more. I’m realizing that I may need to get whacked with a stick.

Anyhow, my doctor knew one of the babies would be breech. He took Liam out and showed him to us. He was slimy and gross, but mostly just perfect. When he went back in to get Luca he said “double fucking breech.” Apparently that doesn’t happen often. (So basically I’m special.) He attempted to pull him out but his nose was stuck on my uterus…. Don’t ask, because I don’t really understand how that happens either.  When he was pulled up over the sheet for me to meet him, I thought “whoa there’s something wrong with that kid.” Don’t judge.  He wasn’t breathing and he was a dark red, bluish color. It took the nurses about a minute for him to come to and off they went to the nicu.

I’m still debating whether to post the video of their birth. Until then, here are a few pictures of the boys shortly after they were born…

Okay just kidding. I’ll post pics soon.

Friends forever?

I love the idea of my boys growing up and being best friends. I know that doesn’t happen often but I would like to think that they would share a special bond having been together from conception. My husband and I frequently talk about all of the amazing things that they will do together. The first day of high school, Prom, sporting events. Oh how fun it would be to have a twin!

Occasionally I catch them doing the cutest things. Things that I would like to think are part of that special twin bond that only they understand. I’m always so excited when I catch these things on camera. Here are a few of those special moments…. image




Twin life – Westsiiiiide!!

A friend from my moms group recently asked me for my thoughts/advice on having twins. She has a friend who is having twins and wanted some of my thoughts on my must haves. Having twins is an entirely different ball game, so I hear, anyway. I wouldn’t know, because it’s all I know! I thought I’d share! I tried my best to leave out all the cliché “It’s hard but so worth it” And blah blah blah. Here goes…..

1. Something I wish I hadn’t done is buy bottles with 1 million parts. It just takes up too much time with twins…putting it together and taking them apart and washing them…it’s just ridiculous. Two bottles that are really easy to clean and work really well with colic 1) avent natural flow and 2)

2. I would definitely buy two Boppy’s. It makes a big difference for feeding. They say don’t do bottle propping but with twins you’re kind of desperate, especially at the night feedings. There’s something called the “table for two” but it’s $300 and I don’t know that it’s worth it. What I do for feedings – I put the babies in the boppys then I roll a blanket up and prop the bottles. Of course I’m with them the entire time. I feel like it’s just as sufficient as the table for two. Plus you don’t have to hold the bottles when you prop them.

3. The baby breeza- love love love this thing. It’s basically a krieg for formula. The unfortunate reality is that most moms don’t make enough milk to feed twins so you end up supplementing with formula. You still have to heat the breast milk but being able to skip the formula mixing portion is great! FYI babies r us will price match.

4. A twin pack n play…I have one from Graco. It has a double bassinet. It is great because they have their own space and you don’t have to worry about them rolling into each other or latching onto each other…sounds strange but it happens.

5. If you have a two story house make sure to buy two changing pads. We spent the first month carrying it up and down the stairs.

6. This is just a general recommendation. We just bought an angle care. I would recommend that you get at least one. There is so much to do with multiples that it adds additional piece of mind. I sleep more soundly knowing it is there and it saves me from getting up a million times a night to check on their breathing. We have one that sleeps on his stomach and it freaks me out.

7. The snugabunny swing is great bc it allows for different settings and swings in different directions. You never know what your baby’s will like and chances are they have different preferences. It’s nice to have choices. That being said, don’t by two of the same swing. And definitely buy a rock n play.

8. Twins usually spend at least sometime in the nicu. This is really hard! But the best advice I can give you is while they are there learn as much as you can about how to care for them. The nicu nurses are your bestfriend. Especially if these are your first babies. Apparently Nicu babies are a whole different ball game so ask a million questions and use it as practice time. image

9. Double My breast friend…I would say don’t buy it. Most mothers of twins rarely are able to first, produce enough milk to feed both twins and second, learn to tandem feed. I have a double my breast friend and I don’t really use it except when I’m breast-feeding one. And sometimes I just use a pillow. I wish I would have left it off the registry because it was pricey and I rarely use it.

10. I really like my stroller. It will grow with the children. http://www.gracobaby.com/products/pages/ready2grow-click-connect-lx-stand-ride-stroller-glacier.aspx it’s big but it fits in the back of my 4 door 2005 Honda accord which is really nice. If you decide to get it you have to have the click connect car seats…they are the only compatible with that car seat. With all that being said I’ve never used anything else.

11. Having twins generally means that you have a C-section. Also it’s very common for women who have twins to go into preeclampsia. My babies were six weeks early because I had preeclampsia and I had to have an emergency C-section. Something that nobody prepare me for was the magnesium drip that’s required after having preeclampsia. The drip makes you really dizzy and really nauseous. It made me so sick that I literally wasn’t able to see the babies for 24 hours. They took me into the nicu in a wheelchair but they wouldn’t allow me to get up so I couldn’t see them bc they were too high in the crib. Once they wheeled me in and they were going to hand me one of the babies but I threw up everywhere right before they handed him to me. I tell you this because I wish someone had told me that it was a possibility. I had all these high hopes about doing skin to skin with the babies once they came out but having a C-section they wouldn’t allow me to hold them. I saw them for each about three seconds before they took them away. The whole experience was nothing like I thought it would be and the magnesium drip was horrible. I don’t mean to discourage you at all but I wish someone had shared it with me.

12) I’m not sure if you are going to breast-feed but I also want to make you aware that when you have twins lactation consultants generally aren’t focused on helping you and the baby latch. Or at least mine weren’t. They seemed more focused on teaching me to pump. If your babies are early and have to go into the nicu they will more than likely have to give them formula to insure they are getting the proper nutrients.

13. Just a suggestion but with twins it’s a time saver to only buy sleep and play pjs that have a zipper. I tend to ignore the snap pjs. They are really inconvenient when you have two babies.

Hope this helps!


I am an organizer for a mom’s group and I absolutely love the group! In general I’m not the most extraverted person but it has forced me to be more outgoing and I’m glad decided to put myself out there. It feels amazing to be connected to people who understand what you’re going through. Women can be so catty sometimes but not these moms. Not so far anyway. I did decide to delete someone and block her from the group. Statistically speaking there was bound to be one oddball. 1 out of 140 is not bad! I deleted her after seeing a Facebook post she wrote to someone she considered her “bestie.” In one of her posts she called her friend a “nigger” and told her to “go back to Africa.” Whoa! I was shocked! That was it for me. I deleted her and blocked her. I couldn’t risk the possibility of her blowing up on someone especially since we have children in the group… And also other human beings. She later posted saying “I’m not racist!” I wanted to ask her if she understood what the word “racist” means. Which actually is a pretty legitimate question considering she once asked me how Olive Garden worked…

Anyhow, here’s a picture of my baby Liam Misha at the meet up this morning.

We decided a tie was in order.

Tiny insights into the life of a mother of twins and counselor