Double f-ing breech

You know how mother’s talk about their pregnancy and birth as though it was the most amazing experience of their life? Well, that was not exactly my experience. And truthfully I want to smack those mothers. In the face. With a stick.

During my pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and required insulin injections. I gained a TON of weight. Things hurt that I didn’t know could hurt. The entire pregnancy I had this sharp, shooting pain in my lower abdomen. Sleep was this foreign concept that I was positive would never return…interestingly it hasn’t. Don’t get me wrong there were positives. The babies! I really wanted babies and I was ecstatic that there were two. Girls think about what their husband and children will look like for all of their early life and I would soon find out.

Which brings me to the birth of my Lbabies. I went in for a weekly check up and they drew blood. The doctor came back and told me I needed to go to the hospital immediately because I had preeclampsia. Prior to this I was so ready for the babies to get out of my body! The problem was I hadn’t eaten anything since the night before and I also didn’t shower and I woke up late so I pretty much flew out of the front door. My appt was at 11am and I didn’t have the babies until 8pm ish. I was starving and felt extremely dehydrated!

I found it interesting that the doctors were having a full-blown conversation about their children attending summer camp during the c-section. I wanted to pull the cloth down and yell “I’m gonna need you guys to focus!” Every once in a while the anesthesiologist would say “you’re doing great.” I was absolutely convinced that any second the epidural was going to stop working. It’s a very strange feeling to have someone’s hands inside your stomach. And it’s an even stranger feeling to have somebody’s hands inside your stomach while discussing the cost of little Susie Joe’s horseback riding camp. I’m sure my c-section covered that cost as well as her first four years in college.

My husband was so sweet throughout it all. He kept saying “you’re doing great.” Truth be told, I wanted to kill him! All I could think was, “what the hell hospital room are you in because I’m about half a second away from having a panic attack followed by a nervous break down!” I’m not going to lie, I envisioned wrapping my hands around his neck and shaking. In retrospect he was incredible and I couldn’t of asked for a better husband.

I actually asked my husband to stop recording during the surgery and I’m so grateful that he didn’t. Watching the video made me realize that the birth of my children is thus far the most beautiful moments of my life. Notice I said moments.  I’m covering my face thoughout the video. Well my mouth, really, mostly because I was trying to keep myself from vomiting. I was so scared that I was physically shaking. Before I saw the video that petrified feeling is all I could remember. But it was so much more. I’m realizing that I may need to get whacked with a stick.

Anyhow, my doctor knew one of the babies would be breech. He took Liam out and showed him to us. He was slimy and gross, but mostly just perfect. When he went back in to get Luca he said “double fucking breech.” Apparently that doesn’t happen often. (So basically I’m special.) He attempted to pull him out but his nose was stuck on my uterus…. Don’t ask, because I don’t really understand how that happens either.  When he was pulled up over the sheet for me to meet him, I thought “whoa there’s something wrong with that kid.” Don’t judge.  He wasn’t breathing and he was a dark red, bluish color. It took the nurses about a minute for him to come to and off they went to the nicu.

I’m still debating whether to post the video of their birth. Until then, here are a few pictures of the boys shortly after they were born…

Okay just kidding. I’ll post pics soon.

3 thoughts on “Double f-ing breech”

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